User blog:Pokemonic/Invader Zim: The Silent Treatment of Doom
Zim is in his underground base working on his latest evil scheme to conquer Earth. He notices something wrong and calls out to GIR, Zim: GIR! Get over here IMMEDIATELY! GIR: Eeee! Are we gonna make muffins? I like muffins. I LIKE THEM A LOT! Zim: No, GIR! Would you stop… Z''im groans.'' Zim: …nevermind… Anyway. I think I have found a way to defeat DIIIIB. GIR: With muffins? Because I like muffins. Zim: No, enough with— GIR runs up to the house. Zim: Well, first we need to make the-- GIR comes out with a plate of burnt muffins. GIR: I MADED THE MUFFINS! An explosion can be heard from above, and Zim stares blankly at the tray. Zim: No muffins, GIR! GIR: But I maded them JUST for YOOOOU. Zim: GIR, I— GIR drops to his knees and sobs. GIR: Why you don’t eat my muffins? WHYYYYY?! Zim: GIR! I need you to… GIR stares at Zim, being unresponsive. Zim: …you’re not going to do anything unless I eat the muffins, are you? GIR: Nope! Zim: FINE! I’ll do it myself. GIR: But what about the muff— Zim puts his hand up. Zim: Here’s a mission for you GIR. Don’t say anything for the rest of the day. Once your mission is complete, I will eat your… erm… Zim looks revoltingly at the burnt muffins on the tray. Zim: …muffins. GIR: Okii dokii! Zim turns around, and looks back at GIR, upset. Zim groans. Zim: He’s never gonna go through with this. Zim sighs. Zim: Well, best take advantage of it while I can. An hour goes by and GIR still hasn’t spoken. GIR goes up to the house. Zim: He’s actually doing it? Hm, how unexpected. WAAIIT, if GIR doesn’t talk all day… I’ll have to eat his… A picture of the muffins flashes on the screen for a second. Zim gags at the thought. Zim: …muffins of DOOOOM! GIR! GIR! GIR comes down and salutes to Zim, but doesn’t talk. Zim: GIR, do you still have the muffins? GIR nods. Zim: W-where are they? GIR flies back up to the house with his rockets and quickly recovers his muffins. GIR looks up at Zim expectantly. Zim, not in the mood to hear GIR’s howling fit of despair, backs away from the muffins and says to GIR… Zim: Uh, hey, why don’t we just call this off. I… Um… I can’t stand not hearing your… incredible voice! GIR shakes his head ‘no’ and points to the muffins. Zim backs away more and GIR walks away. Meanwhile, in Dib’s house, Dib is talking with Agent Darkbootie from the Swollen Eyeball net. Dib: …and that’s what I saw a few hours ago. Interesting, huh? Darkbootie: Okay, so you’re telling me that you saw an explosion come from Zim’s house? Big, black smoke and all that? Dib: Yes. Yes I did. There is a knock at Dib’s bedroom door. Dib: Sorry, got to go! Someone’s knocking! Dib ends the transmission. Dib: Come in! Zim, out of breath, bursts into Dib’s room looking frantic with his antennae sticking out of his wig and one lens half off. Zim: *slurred* GIR made muffins of DOOM a few hours ago and I told him I’d eat them if he didn’t talk for the rest of the day but I didn’t know that he would do it and I can’t get him to talk and he won’t stop the deal and I reeeeally don’t want to eat them and *not slurred* who were you talking to? Dib: …I guess that’s what it was. Wait, Zim! Get out of here! I mean, stay here! I mean… where’s my camera?! Zim: You don’t understand! Those muffins are made of pure DOOM… A picture of the muffins flash across the screen. Zim grabs Dib’s collar and shakes him. Zim: YOU’VE GOTTA HELP ME! Dib: Whatever happened to “An Invader needs help from no one”? Zim crosses his arms and looks out the window. '' Zim: That’s when I’m doing Invader things. This is NOT an Invader thing, this is a MAJOR EMERGENCY OF DOOM! Dib: That didn’t make any sense at all! Zim: Sense is for the weak! Dib, help MEEEE! Dib: What's in it for me? Zim: Eh? Dib: I want something good if I'm gonna help you of all people. Zim: Why should I-- ''Another picture of the muffins flash across the screen. Zim: Err... Fine, what do you want from me? Dib: I want you to show up at school WITHOUT your disguise on. That'll be proof enough to show all those-- Zim: No, way, I'll take the muffins. Dib: Heh. Lose-lose situation, huh, Zim? Zim: Is there anything less... eh, how is to say less bent upon getting me killed? Dib: What's the most you'd be willing to give up? Zim: GIR. Dib: Deal! Wait, isn't he, like, your pet or something? Don't you think it'd be kinda rude to trade him out? Zim: He's a robot. Dib: I KNEW IT! Zim: Yes, yes, as if it wasn't obvious enough. Dib: So what, I have to make him talk? Zim nods. Zim: Yes. Dib: And you'll give me your robot pet thing? Zim: Yes. Dib: Just so you don't have to eat his muffins? Zim: Yes, yes, yes, now go. Dib: How am I supposed to find this little guy? Zim: He should be back in my base by now. Dib: Wait, wait! I'm going into your base? Zim: YES. You've been there before, it's no big deal. Now, come on, we don't have all day. Dib follows Zim to his house and into his base. GIR, sure enough, is standing there waiting. Zim: He just won't budge, I tell you! Dib: Let me try. Dib crouches down and makes eye contact with GIR. Dib: Hey, there, little guy! ''GIR waves. '' Dib: Are you okay? What has Zim been doing to you…? Zim: I’m treating him just fine. Dib: You can trust me, GIR. Now, tell me why you won’t talk. ''GIR runs up to Zim with the muffins, and Zim backs away until he hits the wall. GIR turns to Dib and the word, “Muffins” appears on his eyes. '' Dib: Erm… w-well… ''GIR walks past Dib and goes up to the house while both Zim and Dib stare blankly at him. '' Dib: I never thought I’d see HIM be so quiet. Zim: GIR! GI— Dib: No, hold on a sec. I have an idea. Zim, do you have any voice-activated locks? Zim: *angrily* No. Dib: Well, maybe I have one in my room somewhere. ''Camera zooms out and Zim and Dib are heading up to the house. '' Dib: Now, what does GIR like? ''Cuts to GIR on the couch drinking a Suck Monkey and watching the Angry monkey show. '' Zim: Oh, GIR! ''GIR looks over to see Zim with a see-through box with GIR’s muffins inside. Zim is holding the box with his arms fully extended and with rubber gloves in attempt to get them as far away from him as possible. GIR runs over to him and puts his hands up against the wall of the container. '' GIR: My… ''GIR holds his mouth and looks up at the box. A lock reads: VOICE ACTIVATED. '' Zim: Heh, heh. Let’s see you get to these… eh… these things NOW! ''GIR sits on the ground and looks at the TV, then back at the muffins, then at the TV. Dib tries to jump up, but he is under the table and hits his head on the bottom of it. He crawls out and walks dizzily next to Zim. '' Dib: Eeeeeeh… A-all you have to say is… eh… ''Zim pushes a button on the lock and whispers something to Dib. '' Dib: Monkey! Monkey…? Zim: Monkey. GIR: MOOONKEEEY! ''The box opens. '' Zim: FINALLY! Dib: Yess! GIR: What? Dib: We’ve been trying to get you to talk. GIR: Oh. NOW YOU EAT THE MUFFINS I MADED FOR YOOOU? Zim: No, GIR! You didn’t complete your mission! GIR: Yes I did. Dib: No, you didn’t. You failed. Lost. Didn’t win… GIR: But it’s 12:00AM. Dib/Zim: MIDNIGHT?! GIR: Yeeeaaah. Zim: EH… UH... Here, Dib, you can keep him, BYE! Dib: YES! ''GIR turns to Dib. '' GIR: Aww… Will YOU eat my muffins? Dib: Yeah, as soon as we get to my house! ''Over black: 5 minutes later… '' ''Zim is working in his base. The computer pulls up a screen and says… '' Computer: SOMEONE’S AT THE DOOR! ''The screen shows Dib knocking frantically at the door. He has many scrapes and looks like he just got beaten up. Zim goes up to answer it. '' Zim: What do YOU want… ''Dib shakily points behind him. GIR is running around wildly, screaming randomly and spazzing out. '' Dib: *shakily* T-take him b-back… GIR: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Category:Blog posts